#i WISH this was a joke and this didn't just happen to me
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I wish BoB's could take a second and look at episodes objectively, like without the Tommy of it all. Because, watching Confessions as a fan of all the characters, was just bad. It sucked. Eddie didn't get any character growth, Maddie was doing some weird hidden pregnancy thing for some reason, they had a fucking Glee speech, Maddie made a homophobic "joke", I could go on. Like, take the shipping goggles off for a second and realize you (generally speaking), in fact, did not get what you wanted.
I’m so mad their pregnancy was unplanned again. It makes way more narrative sense for them to come to the conclusion they want more kids together without having the situation essentially forced on them.
And yeah the Eddie thing started out strong! He acknowledged his mistakes to Father Brian!!! He said what happened! And then Fr Brian is like “you should do something frivolous.” And that’s it? No follow up? Is he going to actually work on acknowledging to Chris what happened? Has he talked about The Incident with Chris at all the past three months? Is he really going to settle for going to El Paso and being a witness to his son’s life? Obviously I think the answer is supposed to be “wait and see” but there’s been so little movement on him actually acknowledging the root cause of his actions, which is the grief he has for Shannon. Do you know how easy it would be for them to have him talk to the Real Shannon (i.e. her grave)? They’ve already shown that location before! They were at the graveyard this season! Talking to Shannon’s grave about missing out on Chris’s childhood would be so much more impactful than Brad being the reason that makes Eddie decides to leave.
And the Glee speech wouldn’t be so bad if it was actually leading somewhere you know? They take pains to explain why Tommy had a comphet relationship with Abby using Glee as a metaphor for social progress and that would have been great if it lead to anything positive for Tommy like an “i love you” for instance but because it doesn’t actually let Tommy have something nice despite his past mistakes born of fear, it instead comes off as the hand of the writers reaching down to jerk off Ryan Murphy, which isn’t a good look when the show is a Ryan Murphy Production.
And everyone has said it but the fact “how many men did she turn gay?” Was the perfect set up for Buck to say he’s bisexual is just so indicative of this season’s inability to follow through on anything. You’re telling me Buck wouldn’t say “well I’m bi actually” instead of that round about “I kissed a boy” thing? Hell he could have said both things and it would have flowed better. “Well first of all I’m bi and she was gone long before I ever kissed a boy.” *cue Josh*
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Heyyy can I request Mingyu suggestive prompt no. 7 pleaseee
heyyy, sure you can :) thank you for requesting! 💜 hopefully you will like it!
suggestive prompt: 'you either shut up or i make you.'
you can easily admit that sometimes you take jokes too far. your excuse is that they stretch thin themselves and anyways, it's hard to stop when you're on a roll. teasing people is not a hobby of yours, no matter how much mingyu claims it to be - he just so happens to fall the victim of it more often than other people.
'what is it?' you grin widely, not even hiding your joy from teasing him. 'big boy can't take it, hm? can't take some friendly teasing?'
mingyu arches one eyebrow, looking at you with a barely concealed urge to snap your neck. or push you to the wall and kiss you fiercely. 'you think it's funny?'
'what's not funny about it?' you gloat, knowing that it's a good time to stop, but never really being able to do so when it comes to mingyu in particular. 'that you little masculine heart can't take-'
'you either shut up or i make you.' mingyu cuts you off, gritting his teeth. when you look shocked from his words but don't immediately start defending, he knows he gained the upper hand. 'or is this what you're waiting for? for me to shut up? hm?'
'what even,' you mutter, watching as he comes up closer to you. smirk looks too sexy on his face, you wish you could wipe it off, but your mind is blank of any comebacks.
'how do you want me to do it, pretty girl?' mingyu asks, all cocky. it, unfortunately, makes your heart beat faster. 'with my mouth? with my fingers?' he leans closer, whispering right into your mouth: 'or maybe you prefer something else? something... bigger?'
you have to push him away. but your body is not moving and your back arches on its own, when he wraps one arm around your waist. 'cat got your tongue?' mingyu asks, pressing you to his body.
he looks like he won and he looks good with that smirk of his. you wish he didn't. you wish your pride woke up and your brain started working. you wish- mingyu kisses you. and you wish this moment never stopped, because defeat never tasted this sweet.
a/n: request your own here! <3 - nini
#seventeen imagine#seventeen reaction#seventeen x reader#kim mingyu imagines#seventeen kim mingyu#svt mingyu#svt mingyu imagine#svt mingyu x reader#kim mingyu x reader#kim mingyu fanfic#seventeen kim mingyu imagine#svt x reader#seventeen fluff#seventeen prompt
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I realized that I've never addressed the elephant in Lucanis's room, also known as his romance plot, as a "Had been delusional about him for months before release" individual, so here's a surprisingly long rant/summary of how I felt about it in the process of playing the game.
As a Rook de Riva player, I obviously loved "Coffee with the Crows": we met Illario, joked about haha three Crows talking about nothing, talked business, Rook and Lucanis had a nice moment getting to know each other better outside of being teammates, Rook de Riva's background was acknowledged again, it really felt like a nice bonding moment, right?
Thennn a whole lot of nothing happens during any of the conversations between them, huh. Lucanis doesn't acknowledge flirting, which is fine, take your time bud, you'll get there; you keep pushing being supportive, he ignores you, you deal with his personal stuff for him one (1) time, and in my case he then proceeds to ignore Rook for 10+ hours of pure game time while busy talking to Neve at every opportunity until I finally get one (1) dialogue option to "express romantic interest in Lucanis".
And let me express my honest innermost feelings on the matter:
Not only did it feel like Lucanis genuinely couldn't care less about Rook even as a friend, it also felt like Rook was forcing Lucanis into something he simply wasn't interested in and that we were just getting in the way of his relationship with Neve. It was genuinely unpleasant to experience in a videogame that is supposed to be wish fulfillment and whatnot, and let me tell you, it was especially jarring because Dragon Age games also have a tendency of occasionally making you feel like the most special little protagonist known to Thedas, at the very least to your companions who you're supposedly building bonds with.
I loved hangout events in this game, too, I was so happy to just have these conversations about whatever with companions, have these little one-on-one moments with them that genuinely felt like walks with friends (especially with my bro my bestie my homie Davrin), and with Lucanis it started and ended with the coffee date. His fears and doubts about Rook later are never addressed, and lol lmao even, yeah, why would they be, when it feels like he barely acknowledges Rook exists outside of accompanying him to deal with his problems, none of which need Rook there? There's no reason outside of gameplay for him to ask Rook and not, say, his favorite Neve he talks about everything to? Somehow a lot of times when I hoped for any sort of dialogue with him, I was met with him talking about something very personal like his current feelings about Illario to Neve, like, isn't Rook supposed to know anything about anything, or are we just his convenient weird coworker he sometimes asks favours from?
We persevere though and keep supporting Lucanis, and can you take a wild guess what was waiting for me after like 40 hours of the game and after the infamous "kabedon assassin style" scene? Yeah bro, Lucanis just happened to talk to Neve. I wish I was making this shit up. My coping strategy was to come up with an entire jealousy subplot for my Rook because if I have to feel like I'm in the shittiest unrequited situationship of a triangular shape, I might as well do it on my own terms, right? It feels petty and stupid because as a player I like Neve, too, she's one of the coolest (no pun intended) characters, but as Rook, and Rook de Riva making an obvious choice especially? Yeah, let's just say this relationship fucking sucked for a while.
So after many trials and tribulations we're finally back with Inner Demons, and yeah, Neve is there again, I couldn't even give a shit at that point, and I'll be real here, the locking in didn't feel like we went through angsty slowburn or that we earned Lucanis' trust. Remember DA2's Fenris situation? Because I suddenly did, and surely one of many, many Neve banters I had to eavesdrop on could be sacrificed to have one or two banters that acknowledged Lucanis's anything towards Rook at all?
Also, Spite? Spite seemingly likes Rook more than Lucanis does. In between "It's so over" and "We're so back" in the Fade Ossuary it feels like somehow Rook gets more bonding time with Spite, which is kinda crazy to me.
We are so back though! As I mentioned, I was a "delusional before release" individual, I am perfectly capable of filling the gaps and extrapolating meaning from implications, and here's where one of the most infuriating things is: the rest of the romance is good, too! I can write whatever the hell I want between the beginning and the end of it, but like, why should I? How should I go about it, when in my game I was under the impression that Lucanis would rather just spend time with anyone other than Rook for seemingly no reason in particular, because there's simply nothing there? The fact that none of my pre-release ideas or comics even necessarily contradict anything about Lucanis or his romance as it is now is more telling than impressive honestly.
So where do I land with this exactly? Well, mostly in the glorious Fanon Land where I've been making my silly comics the whole time anyway. The highs are high, I love what they did at the end and how stable, protective and devoted Lucanis is, but the lows made me salty as shit and I wish I didn't have to feel that way to begin with. I wish I didn't have to connect the dots and joke about how badly Lucanis sucks at this and "Let's go girl give us nothing." And yes, I know about writer lay-offs, rewrites, restarts, etc etc, and it's a miracle that this game came out at all, but it hardly matters when you're just trying to do the good old datesim part of a Dragon Age game and end up feeling like a third wheel while trying very hard to get anything out of the character you're interested in.
#rookanis#lucanis x rook#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis romance#datv spoilers#datv critical#rant#long post#datv#dav#dragon age
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In the Sauna
(FadelStyle fanfic)
Dedicated to @cagedinreality & @talibaozibang
Fadel's breath felt so hot against his ear, it was like he was trembling and burning at the same time. Style's hand wrapped a firm hand around his dick and a soft moan left Fadel's mouth.
Style's eyes checked him one more time. Fadel's face was almost hiding behind his neck. For sure there was shame but also a lot of desire and despair. Between his fingers, Fadel felt big and hot, ridiculously overworked, but still enduring.
Style couldn't help but feel some kind of compassion for the way the man's stomach twitched every time his hand rubbed his skin. Fuck, this man was so hard that he could explode in any second and it was all because of Style's charms. It was kind of impossible to not feed his already big ego.
Still, he could do better than this.
His hand started to move torturously slow, but he was so wet that it was all a complete mess. It sounded so obscene that it had Style going crazy. His hand were sticky and slippery, moving on its own while Styles reserved all his attention to Fadel's face.
The man was trying his best to hide his moans but that only made him sound more needy. His eyes almost shut, looking down at Style's hand and to his eyes from time to time.
"Feels good, uh?" Style whispered against his mouth, kissing his chin, biting him a little. Fadel sounded even louder after that.
"Ain't I fantastic?" Style says and his hand go faster, watching for a second how big and red he was down there, making himself feel excited.
Every little expression in Fadel's eyes were extremely addictive to Style. He couldn't stop looking at him. Fadel's forehead fell against his. The whimpers sounding even hotter against his own mouth.
"Didn't you wish you had met me earlier?" Style moans. He could feel Fadel's dick twitching in his hand, so close that to get what he wanted. Style was hard too, he could feel it. His chest was full of some uncontrollable excitement, he couldn't help but feel Fadel's joy and lust.
They were both moaning in each other's mouths.
"Shit," Fadel whimper and Style didn't think it even once before he fell to his knees and took him inside his mouth. The sensitive tip was softly rubbing Style's tongue and Fadel's hands were aching on each sides of his body, not daring to do anything.
"You don't want to make a mess, do you?" Style moaned before he finally got into it, never looking away from Fadel's reactions.
Fadel's left hand held a grip on his wrist. His strength was shattered. The weaker he looked, the better. Style was taking more and more of him, getting carried away from the moment.
Style's eyes filled with tears when he was almost taking Fadel to the hilt, when the man's hand finally wrapped around his hair and his eyes rolled back. The satisfaction in the way he vocalized his orgasm was so fascinating.
Style kept swallowing all of him, still looking at him and his expressions, completely defeated, glowy and pleased.
When it was done, they kept looking at each other in the eyes, like there was something they were trying to figure out. Style was still lazily blowing him, incapable to move on from what just happened. Until, Fadel forced him off his dick. Style was so into letting him fuck his mouth right then and there, but it would take a while for them to be able to.
"How ungrateful!" Style joked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "I wanted more," he insisted.
Fadel looked so damn offended, but it was clearly just embarrassment. Style couldn't help but thinking he was cute.
"I kinda need you right now..." Style said, revealing his hard dick between his legs.
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Thanks for reading!
This was something I wrote trying to reflect on the emotions of both characters in episode 2.
Hope you enjoy.
Please, don't post it outside this page without my consent. 🫶
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it's wild when a porn bot messages you and they have the same name you used to have. like, what do you mean your name is leela???
is this where my deadname went after i stopped using it? to the porn bot name reclamation center? was it adopted by a loving family?
#i wish i was fucking joking#i WISH this was a joke and this didn't just happen to me#◇— ash's diary
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me and the pathetic loser I pulled by being a pathetic loser myself.
#hehe#takajin#persona 3#takaya sakaki#jin shirato#i originally kinda wanted to draw them less thin; scarless and with naturally colored hair#as i am actually deeply disapproving of writing jin as just fantasizing about the epic gay sex in itself. that's not what this is about#it's not ''i wish my wife stopped bitching about her headache and just let me get balls deep in her already 🙄''#it's ''i wish my beautiful wife didn't have a headache and felt good enough to maybe want me balls deep in her herself :--(''#very important distinction#that said it would unfortunately spoil the joke. and takaya's funky too long too thin limbs just so happen to be really fun to draw 🤷#body image cw#suggestive
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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i lived
#girl i thought i was going to collapse from the way my chest was burning and my heart was pounding#she was so cheerful and normal i was in shock and she was like 'did you lose sleep over what happened?' in this joking way#and i was like.....i have been crying on and off and feeling sick to my stomach the last two days....i didn't actually say that ofc#i just went 'haha yeah' hgkshfjsjfhdhhd#then at the end of the day i asked her to tell me what really happened and she did and she showed me receipts too#her messages and emails from that parent#so what i got out of that conversation was that the parent was really mad that i was still waiting all the way till 5#even though she emailed me saying her daughter would be late. why did i stay all the way till 5#.....so That was the problem. for some reason#i still don't really get it but ig that's why my boss was like 'this is why you have to let me handle the parents; they're unpredictable'#she said it's something to learn from at the end of the day and not to worry about it#which like. okay. but i still wish she told me about this no correspondence rule in the first place#anyway it's over and i can finally breathe again. seriously feels like i've come back ro life. the last 2 days were nightmarish#i'm actually glad i talked to her after the day was over because being with the kids really helps me feel better. they're so cute
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Watching the death note musical and man, I just want to give Light some tea and terrible unlicenced therapy.
#like. no i don't agree with him#but also i completely understand the mindset#fundamentally he's a disillusioned teenager who wants any way to fix what he sees#(and to do something exceptional and full of meaning instead of what he sees as a bland and empty existence)#and then he's handed a notebook that can kill people#because it happened to be him - in particular - of course it turned out that way#it's tragic#it makes you wish you could help him#and imo he's not very emotionally mature. A lot of his issues remind me of me at 14#the guy was probably already tumbling headfirst into a mental health crisis#and you can absolutely cherry pick things he said and thought that make him seem like an absolute monster#and he definitely has lots of those traits that he Isn't Aware Of. but that's like. part of why you'd want to help him#and i feel like a lot of what L did was bring those traits out into the open for light#of course neither of them thought it was particularily wrong and the task force didn't pick up on it#but i think that's where some of the hatred comes from. not just that he's trying to stop Light#but also that he can see Light and is making Light aware of aspects of himself he'd rather not be#(insert homosexuality joke here even though that's not what I'm talking about)#remember that Light has been 'perfect' his entire life.#And everyone has said a million times over that the fact L sees him contributes to the weird sort of closeness they have#and why Light is so lonely after L's death#anyways all I'm saying is that it's tragic and while i doubt anything i could do would change it it makes me wish i could try#i love making fun of and criticizing Light as much as the next guy#but I guess today my brain decided to access the special Death Note Emotions
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Especially because in the end... Arakawa loses his son in small ways that just Accumulate... but Jo's the one who even gets to outlive his son... AUGH. THROWING MYSELF INTO A WOODCHIPPER
Also while going through old messages, I saw I actually had a dream back in 2021 that Jo came back in LaD8. I mean sure he had "longer hair" and "a new outfit NOBODY liked except me" and was Unserious like RGGJo whereas in the actual teaser he sounds more depressed than ever but I'm still taking credit alright... the vision came to me...
And in a Hell Will Freeze Over Before This Happens I Just Like To Think About It way. I want him in my goddamn party and I have for all of Y7 so it's not related to the new game. I don't care. I want to find out what his favorite flowers are I want to take him to Every Movie and get his commentary on all of it I want to take him out to eat and watch his little itadakimasu animation play out I want to have the most light-hearted and inconsequential conversations and I want him to chime in I want to exhaust every option on his Drink Link I want to unlock his sickass tag-team moves I want to wear True Hero and fight by his side I want to shower him with so much love and affection he won't know what hit him (<- channeling Arakawa tbh)
its just insane because from a metaphorical sense arakawa 'outlives' masato in that he becomes aoki and like. That's One Thing, but then Of Course. There's Jo. //stuffing my mouth with wet cement// like OHHHH the pain never stops it never ends,,
mate i think your brain was just tryna manifest RGGJo to make a come back through y7 ☠️☠️ CREDIT WHERE CREDITS DUE THO BUT DAMN would have been. THE MOST interesting change to his character though.... on the real.... because yeah he just sounds so tired from the trailer so far (;´д`)would be hilarious if instead of entering a Super Depression arc bro's just. Yeah Alright Fuck It. What Can We Do Now Amirite. walk right out the cell with the white suit and snake-patterned lapels and all ☠️☠️
OK BUT MOST VALID RANT EVER. MOST VALID WANT EVER. would really just have the vibe of dragging your jaded uncle around the city i would died to have that,,, 😭😭
#snap chats#ON THE REAL THOUGH JO PARTY MEMBER WOULD'VE MADE ME YELL#it too is a part of my This Is Guaranteed To Never Happened But What If wish list.....#i still stand firm he shouldve at least been left with tendo for five minutes. JUST FIVE THEN EVERYONE ELSE CAN COME IN#first he necks his boss then he fucks up his office like LET HIM. GET A FEW SWINGS IN. it's what he deserves i think...#BUT REAL PLEEAASSE I WANT THE SAWASHIRO SOCIAL LINK GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW SEGA#id die and throw up because you just know he and ichi'd have to talk about arakawa at some point during it...#if the whole SL not JUST being about meetin arakawa or his early days in the family#also forgive me for calling it 'social link' i unfortunately played persona a lot years ago and just. Its A Social Link ok ik im a monster#persona's one piece of media that was crucial to my developmental years its in my dna now...#IN ANY CASE NOOOOO I COULD SIT AND THINK FOREVER ABOUT JO MAKING LITTLE COMMENTS...#its my mental illness... its my weakness i think..... just thinkin of silly scenarios...#see while im cringe at being intelligent i AM adequate at making funny scenarios... hehe even...#its a dangerous thing to put an idea in my head as Creatively Ambiguous as that one oh no i feel my brain being eaten alive already#PLEASE I NEED THE PARTY TO REACT TO JO 😭😭 IN A NON VIOLENT SITUATION 😭😭#i hope when jo's forced to be in social settings he's just Weird. like not Weird weird but its painfully obvious he's never had friends#like he just doesnt know what to do with himself the closest friend in age he has is adachi and He. Is Definitely A Character (affectionate#i hope theyre all out to lunch and someone makes a lighthearted joke and jo takes it too seriously and one other mate gotta just#'my guy relax. it was a joke. see [explains the joke]' and bro just Hm..... Not Funny Didn't Laugh about it right#he's not gonna flip the table now at least#UGH why would you remind me of the timeline of jo being a party member. im gonna drive myself mad thinkin bout it (;´x`)(;´x`)#ITD BE SO SWEET JUST SEEING JO BE NICE FOR FIVE SECONDS. NOT EVEN 'NICE' JUST CHILL#jo karaoke wouldnt exist but it'd be cute to at least see him in the crowd...#I REPEAT IM GONNA THINK OF LIL SCENARIOS LIKE THESE ALL DAY NOW NOOOOOO im ruined 😔
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i wish it was worse
#i wish everything that happened was worse#i wish it mattered#and i know people saw it every time and i wish they didnt and i wish#nobody saw it because maybe then itd feel less like a funny joke#that i just didnt get#i wish i was alone and i wish it was worse#i wish i had a reason to be so afraid#bc i'm so lucky. and i wish i wasn't lucky.#i wish it couldn't have been worse#i wish i didn't have to deal with. oh yeah that happens all the time.#at least he didn't make you send pictures. at least it was online. at least nothing actually happened.#like the person who fucking ruined me isn't even alive anymore so who do i get angry at#and i hate to say this but i just wish i got sa-ed. i wish it was physical and i wish i could point to the event and say#even if some people don't believe me at least other survivors will#but nobody's fucking going to believe this. nobody is going to care.#because i was so so lucky . it was so so normal .#and i know for a fact that i'm not even safe talking to survivors about it#i can't even talk to friends i can't even go onto RAINN#and try to get help because i don't need that help#it was just my hair. and then it was just my hair again then it was just my bra strap and then it was just#online and online and it was just online so nothing even happened#and i thought i wanted it and the other person is dead so i'll never know who to blame#why wasn't it worse why ? it should ahve been. it had every reason to be.#dont rb#vent#neg
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is it really really stupid to give her the gift. i know she’s not worth it and im making myself feel like shit over and over and i need to stop and it doesnt matter how sad or angry i am about it she’s not just gonna dump him and even if she did i wouldn’t like. want to be the second choice (not that i inherently would be. weirdo dream scenario) and it’s just not gonna affect her much to not see me anymore and i have to be okay with that. and im truthfully not rn but i have to be cause that’s the reality. anyway lost my point there
#like. i just cant imagine class being over monday and just being like. ok bye forever ig. or not rlly saying anything#idk guys im sorry i know ive gone on and on and on nonstop for months#it just sucks#even if i think back to monday like. it's classic baby steps of leading me on and i fortunately for once didnt nip at the bit right away#but just the little ways she looked at me and smiled or joked around. kinda flirty. just for her to yk#post the bereal today and hes in it and its like 'wait let me get a shirt on' so just blatantly fucking yk. didnt even have to do my sleuth#work. and like. i know maybe ive overreacted to a lot of it and over thought it and she really didn't intentionally do a lot of it#and wasn't ever confused or anything and i just told myself that to justify being sooooo bonkers over it. idk#so it's like. with all that in mind. no i should not give it to her i should just walk out of class and not talk to her again#but the wounded part of me the 17 yr old in me is desperately asking why it's so easy for someone to get over me#but she was never into me! or at least not enough yk. she has a boyfriend. and that yk. shouldve been enough#but i got so lost in all these little signs and feelings of tension and#i guess. lol look at me abt to say this. doesnt help to dwell (lol!) but who knows if it was mutual some of those times when it just Felt#tense. yk. or if she just has problems and really liked the ego boost#cause boy did i make it fucking easy to enjoy my attention! and i never ever ever shouldve done all that bc she wasnt mutually engaging#at least not till like. october. and only briefly. and i just. ugh#anyway :( whatever. i know the answer is no. i know it's no i know i shouldnt#but as i was saying. the wounded part of me wishes i could make her feel even a fraction of the hurt or even just fucking regret#but not pity. but regret for being an asshole. if i could just say something as my final word or something and still be dignified#but i just dk how that would happen. so. yeah#hopefully this is one of my runner up last posts about her#film girl saga
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I feel like crying.
#dragon's stupid thoughts#today sucked#first that shit with the docs appointment - this happened already once before and I think it was the same receptionist and I think she#remembered last time too. fucking sucks TWICE AS MUCH#then my gold randomizer didn't want to work the way I wanted it to#the magmatoar in my fire type only brilliant diamond run disobeys me cuz it's traded#and the worst of all: my co intern at work#she makes me always feel so miserable#the way she's ''jokingly mocking'' me drives me crazy. and then she's always like ''omg. don't take everything so seriously 😒😒🙄🙄''#*while playing minecraft* she: 'oooh i see your house! your house that's made out of wood! and i coincidentally have a flint stone with me!#and when I told her to stay away she got offended and told me i can't take a joke#i think this was yesterday#today she was telling the teen i was playing with to punch me so i fall down#previously (some weeks ago. the first ones of the internship even?) she told like every teen that we were playing with to attack and kill m#I've already mentioned the uno one once but. where she sets up rules which obviously malefit me specifically#if you ask ''whos turn is it'' you have to draw a punishment card#this rule just makes me say nothing anymore. fuck you. i won't say a thing every again.#i feel like an idiot because of her#i already have a low self esteem / confidence and then denying that my beanie hat add coolness to me (for me) just makes me feel awful#makes me feel like a clown#i feel like trash thanks to her. hope you're happy and found some joy in making fun of me. in ridiculing me.#i fucking hated today but heeeyyyy at least i started the comic!! joy..#[ETA:#all of this made me wish once again that I have some SO waiting for me at home. that they are excited and happy to see me.#then we'll drink hot chocolate together. on a couch getting all cozy with fluffy blankets. cuddling and snuggling. while I tell them about#my day. then I'll watch them play something. maybe animal crossing. and I'll be slowly falling asleep on their shoulder. then they'll lift#me up and carry me to my bed and tug me in. and like just in general make me feel loved and valued#is this too much to ask for#]
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god it's almost my birthday. fuck
#i don't want to............#god i know 23 isn't old but it feels so old#what the fuck happened to nineteen. i was supposed to get to be nineteen. and twenty and twenty-one#remember when we all made jokes about getting to redo whatever age we were stuck in quarantine at?#back when it would have only been one number?#i think we should have gotten to. i would have liked to start uni at nineteen instead#i would feel less out of place#met a girl at a party who (upon me saying i would be 23 in a couple months. following her calling herself old)#went 'OH okay i'm not the oldest one here. thank GOD. no offense'#like. cool. you're less than a year younger than me and also way to be an asshole to someone Just meeting your entire friend group#anyway yeah. monday approaches. i wish it didn't#el speaks
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DPxDC More Shit Fae!Danny Has Said While Living With Waynes
Dick, opening his arms wide and going for a hug: hey, Danny!
Danny, looking him in the eyes without blinking: did you know that centuries ago fae really liked to crawl inside human bodies and use them as nests? I heard human insides are really warm and squishy.
Dick, sweating, frozen in place: ...no?..
Danny, smiling and cheerfully jumping to hug Dick: I didn't either!
Jason, because he is feeling adventurous today: I have a question. Where do Fae come from?
Danny: Ah, so B hadn't had the Talk with you yet, what a shame. So when a woman and a man love each other very much-
Damian: Enough of your foolish jokes, I do not wish to hear the sex talk from you. To answer your question, Todd, Fae come from the dreams.
Jason, deadpan: ...really?
Danny, very awkwardly: Um. Dami. Brother to my soul. I'm so sorry.
Damian: What?
Danny: I told you we come from dreams only because you were four. That's not actually how it works. We just fuck.
Duke, narrowing his eyes at Danny suspiciously: So, for the past week and a half, I've been having this recurring dream about you eating my brain with a fork like spaghetti. I was wondering, is it, like, a you thing or a me thing?
Danny, very offended: Duke! Not every weird thing that happens in this house is my fault! That is very rude of you!
Cass, after Duke had apologized profusely and left: You.
Danny, rolling his eyes: Yeah, okay, I did do that. In my defense, his fear tastes like the perfect greasy cheeseburger, and I have to get my fair share of junk food somehow.
Cass: >:(
Danny: Okay, I'll stop. Eventually.
Bruce, in his nth attempt at gaining information from Danny: How do you know if someone is a Fae or not?
Danny: Throw a fish at them.
Bruce: ????
Danny, not even looking up from his phone: Fish are scared of the Fae. So if you throw a fish at someone and the fish gets scared, they are Fae.
Gotham Rogues a week later: We have no idea why Batman keeps throwing guppies at us, but we collectively suspect his new child is to blame.
Danny: Oh, I'm forbidden to enjoy caraoke nights.
Steph, who suggested he join: What? Why? Is it some kind of punishment for the pizza incident?
Tim: No, it's because if he starts singing, we all lose our grip on reality.
Damian: And our dignity.
Danny: They mean they start dancing whether they want it or not, and I have videos to prove it. Wanna see Jason twerking? Or I have one with Tim and Bruce waltzing through the manor.
Steph, as everyone else bemoans their fate: With great pleasure.
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@violet-foxe
#danny phantom#dc x dp#dpxdc#batfam#batman#tim drake#jason todd#damian wayne#stephanie brown#dick grayson#fae#fae!danny#bruce wayne#batfamily is getting used to him#but danny finds new opportunities to be a little shit#btw the part about fish being afraid of fae is true#cork prompts#cork writes#changeling au
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Ok nobody extrapolate anything about me from this...
The first time you cry in front of the 141:
The first time you cry in front of Ghost it's because you can't fucking take it anymore. All the little things, all the comments you know he didn't mean to hurt, all the conversations you ignored because you didn't want to make him feel like the bad guy, it all comes to a head. You don't even mean it to happen, and you feel like shooting yourself on the spot as soon as the tears start flowing. It feels manipulative. It feels disingenuous. You feel like a piece of shit having him awkwardly bundle you in his arms as you break down sobbing over a topic that normally would mean nothing to you. And it all comes out. All the worries and slights you ignored, all the fears and doubts, all the things that made you question if you could ever even start to bring up with him. Like throwing up, once it starts you can't stop it.
He looks like you've hit him when you finally escape his bear hug. You barely get the chance to take it in before you're thrust back into sobbing hysterics, blubbering out apologies, how you feel like you're manipulating him, how you're a bad partner, how you're sure he's going to realize he doesn't want you and leave. You barely hear the rough "Jesus Christ" over your own hiccuping.
Ghost shuffles the two of you over to grab you a t-shirt to blow your nose in while you're sniffling and wiping at your eyes. You feel pathetic having him hold the fabric to your face and telling you to blow.
"Didn't know ya made this much snot love," he jokes.
"You're dot funny," you whine, nose still clogged with wattery mucus as your tears finally start calming down.
"I know," he grumps.
"You're mad at me," you sniffle.
"I'm not," he sounds mad, "mad at myself. Shoulda seen ya keepin' things to yourself, I'm glad ya finally told me." His scarred mouth screws to one side. "Just gotta work on makin' sure we don't get to this point again."
-
The first time you cry in front of Soap it's because you're so fucking mad at him. He's arguing with you over nothing, the same way he always does when he's in a bad mood. Finding little things that dig at you and twisting just enough to make it not his fault when you snap. Back and forth with your barbs until you got to bed angry.
You can feel the tears burning at your waterline before they spill and you know your hot cheeks don't bode any better. You're not yelling but you almost wish you were, at least of you were yelling at each other it might make you feel better about the sudden waterworks. You hate when this happens. Too big an emotion in the body, it has to come out somewhere, you suppose this is just the quickest avenue. The way Soap's face drops from anger to concern pisses you off though.
"Hen, are ya-"
"I'm so fucking mad right now," you assure him, "don't look at me, don't even acknowledge them."
"Ah dinnae ken," His voice is getting softer, it only makes you more upset, "Oh my bonnie, ahm sorry ah didnae think this would hurt ya so bad."
"Fuck off," you try to push past him to lock yourself in the bathroom and he catches your arm to pull you against him. "Fuck off!" You shriek, pushing at him.
"No," he holds you a little tighter, "my mam would 'ave my heid hearin' ah let ya walk away from me like this, yer stayin' 'ere."
"I will fucking skin you Mactavish," you struggle harder.
"Aye anno, now shut up an' quit yer kickin'."
You do neither of those things.
-
The first time Gaz sees you cry it's because no one's ever seen you before. Even in your best relationships, your closest friendships, no one sees you like Gaz. No one picks you up from work with flowers and takes you by your favorite bakery just so you can have a slice of cake when you watch your comfort show. You're not even through the title music, Gaz sorting through your takeout options after he'd gotten you a "fancy plate" and a small fork to eat with, when you break down in sobs. He's on you immediately, hushing you as he gathers you into his arms. He's so attentive it hurts.
"It's OK baby," he hums, "don't have to talk about it, you just let it out."
God even that gets you crying. You don't have to get your words right or find a way to explain what you're feeling, you can just feel it. You try to think of a way to put it into words but it all lines up wrong, sounds too juvenile, doesn't make any sense even to you. There's no need to say anything though, Gaz just sits there with you, holds you through it as you wet his shoulder with your tears.
You don't even know why you're crying by the end of it, you just kept coming up with other reasons to cry. Jesus you don't think you ever got over your last grandparent dying, or losing that one friend, that's something to unpack later. You feel drained. Literally dehydrated drained. Gaz's shirt is soaked, but he doesn't day anything when you pull back.
He cups your cheek at wipes at the wet stains on your cheek with his thumb, eyes searching yours before he gives you a tight smile.
"Why don't you go take a hot shower, yeah?" He offers, you give him a watery nod, he smiles and pats your knee. "Alright, off you go. I'll be in, in a second."
The second time you cry in front of Gaz it's before he's got you pinned to the shower wall.
-
The first time Price sees you cry it's because you're tired. You're tired of giving everything to this relationship and seeing him leave right when things seem to be falling into place. His phone buzzes in the middle of the night and you don't stop the downpour when he grumbles out a swear and turns on the light. You glare at the ceiling and let the tears flow. It hurts. Tight in your chest. This feeling like you'll never be enough, like he'll always have something more important than you, it kills you. So why can't you leave him?
Are the good times really good enough to make up for the bad?
It makes him stop what he was doing when he sees the resolute grimace and the flow of tears over your cheeks. You shudder in a breath when he sits on the side of the bed. You refuse to look at him.
How could he do this to you?
"Sweetheart," he starts, his voice low, gentling, "I'm sorry."
"You're not." You correct him, "Otherwise you wouldn't keep doing it."
"You want me to choose between you and the world, you know what I'll say." He always sounds so sharp, ready to guilt you into giving up what he wants.
"I'm asking you to choose between me and paperwork," you bite back.
"You don't know-"
"You get phone calls when you're being deployed." You remind him, "You get reminders when papers are due." You turn to glare at him. The look on his face twists like a knife in your chest. You're dead on the money, and it's killing him. "So can this really not wait until the morning, are you really that eager to be rid of me?"
"I'm sorry," he tries again, toeing off his shoes, "you're right, I hadn't noticed." You turn over as he climbs under the duvet again. You fold your legs up as his arm drapes over you hip and he curls around you. His lips touch your shoulder, a silent plea for forgiveness. "Let me make it up to you, no more running into red tape I promise."
You don't bother agreeing to empty promises, but the next day he's had the paperwork sent from the base. The same the next day. Price always told you working from home didn't suit him. Waking you up with a cuppa on the other hand and walking you to the station does though.
He makes good on his promise, he doesn't run off until the next call comes in.
#cod x reader#x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost mw2#simon ghost riley x reader#john soap mactavish#ghost x reader#soap mw2#john mactavish x reader#soap x reader#kyle gaz garrick#gaz mw2#kyle garrick x reader#gaz x reader#captain john price#price mw2#captain price x reader#price x reader#cod headcanons#gn!reader
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